She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
