you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
