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you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
