There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
