yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
