I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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