are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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