Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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