he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize