i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
