Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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