You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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