I wannas sexs uuuuu
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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