So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
