Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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