I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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