is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
