I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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