Screwed.edu
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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