i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
