We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
