my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
