you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
