OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this just has baby written all over it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
