I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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