Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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