Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
