You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize