It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
organizing the empties. That sober.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
