I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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