I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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