Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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