I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
barbara walters just said penis...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
