It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
