Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
