she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You have to summon your inner elephant
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
