There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize