where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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