I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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