Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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