You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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