Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
