i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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