just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
