What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
