Nicole vs. Life
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
