so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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