I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize