Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
