So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
