I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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