I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
