Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
