Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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