went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
