she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
is wine microwaveable?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
