would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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