not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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