He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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