I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
