bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
