so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
