had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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