i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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