Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
