This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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